This is my facebook status update – “Catherine has returned home from the horror of the “Good Food & Wine Show”. The day was only made worthwhile when she won a bottle of wine from Alastair McLeod, who as handing it to her said, “There you go madam, even though you’re only 16″, and when she won Matt Moran’s book from Matt for merely having dined at Aria, Brisbane. Finally her good taste was rewarded. Oh and Manu is so into himself, it’s ridiculous. He’s not hot, he’s fat.”
It says it all really. As my friend commented on my status, the GF&WS is full of Westies who have watched an episode of Masterchef and consider themselves foodies. Bang on. There was nothing glamourous about it. And the fact that my date for the day, Sally, was ill and couldn’t attend, made it all the more painful. Seeing as there was so little food to actually sample, and it was more a convention selling useless kitchen gadgets, like those hideous 1980s slicers that dice carrots, I filled the day by attending all of the chef demonstrations. First up were Gary and George from Masterchef. Amusing, lovable and entertaining. They sped through a variety of seafood dishes which looked tasty and fresh.
Next up was Matt Moran. I was lucky enough to win a signed copy of his cookbook. He cooked a few salmon dishes and demonstrated how to cut and fillet the salmon. I’d really like to develop my knife skills. If anyone has seen the film The Long Kiss Goodnight, I’d like to be like Geena Davis when she chops at lightning speed remembering that she used to be a chef (if you haven’t seen the film, it’s awesome).
Tobie Puttock took us on an Italian culinary tour and had a lovely story to tell about his career and philosophy on food… although he did pronounce orchard as orchid, an error I find to be quite popular these days.
And now for the final installment: a mish mash of buffoonery and The Benny Hill Show. Manu was revolting. It’s a wonder he even fit into the theatre with such a big head. Seriously. Every chef had a brief video clip that played before they came out on stage, introducing who they were and a brief summation of their career… Manu’s was footage of him with strippers as he nuzzled into their breasts. That set the entire tone. When he entered the theatre, the women were a screaming frenzy and it’s a wonder they didn’t throw their knickers at him. His behaviour was grotesque. He thought he was God’s gift to women. I’m sorry to break this to you ladies, but he is unattractive and overweight. Yes, he has a French accent and yes, he can cook but is that all it takes to elevate someone to the status of sex symbol? Come on. Give me a break. Anyway, I can’t remember what Manu cooked as it really wasn’t about the cooking. Oh and he juggles too. Bully for him.
